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Writer's pictureDeborah Pleasants

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) & Counselling

Updated: Nov 24



Little Red Riding Hood


What was her mother thinking of

To send her daughter on her way

Into the woods alone that day?

Was she so busy with her chores

She did not see those vulpine jaws?

Where the protective mother love?

What was her mother thinking of?

 

What was Red Riding Hood about?

To wander off into the woods,

Her basket packed up full of goods

Was there no friend, au pair or nanny

To go with her to visit her Granny?

Why did she not protest and shout?

What was Red Riding Hood about?

 

And where was Daddy on that day?

Did he not see his daughter go,

And rush outside and call out, “NO!

I’ll take the food for you, my child

The woods are dangerous and wild

You stay at home, have fun and play…”

So where was Daddy on that day?

 

And why did Granny live out there?

If she was ill and stuck in bed

Could she not live with them instead?

Or have a nurse, live in a home

Not in the woods there, all alone

No shops or friends, and wolves that scare

So why did Granny live out there?

 

Why does this story make me so mad?

I want to take her parents on

And tell them that the whole thing’s wrong

Red Riding Hood should be protected

Secure and cherished, not neglected

Abandoned by both mum and dad

That’s why this story makes me mad!

 

Apparently, it all came good

The story turns out fine and dandy –

The woodcutter came in very handy

Justice was done, the world was dead

And all the good guys won, its said

That child was rescued in the wood

Apparently, it all came out good

 

If only it were always true

That rescuers turn up to fight

And put those nasty wolves to flight

That child, innocent and sweet

Can be protected from deceit

There must be more than we can do?

If only it were always true

 

And so I want to rage and shout

And let my deep frustrations out

Wanting to cry “Never again!”

Trying to rid the world of pain

But take a closer look and see

That lost and lonely child

Is me…….

(Anon)



Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are distressing incidents that happen before turning 18. These may involve abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), neglect (emotional, physical), household issues (divorce, substance abuse, violence, incarceration), among others.


The Impact of ACEs

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) can significantly and enduringly affect a person's mental and physical well-being:

Mental health concerns: Depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance abuse, eating disorders, and personality disorders

Physical health issues: Heart disease, stroke, diabetes, obesity

Behavioral challenges: Aggression, delinquency, risky behaviours, difficulties with relationships, emotional regulation problems, and low self-esteem


Counselling as a Tool for Healing

Counselling can be an effective method for assisting individuals who have encountered ACEs in healing and managing their difficulties:

Process emotions: Examine and comprehend feelings associated with the ACEs.

Recognise the impact: Acknowledge that ACEs can have significant and enduring effects.

Validate feelings: It's normal to feel a variety of emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, or shame.

Develop coping skills: Acquire healthy strategies to handle stress, anxiety, and other symptoms.

Build resilience: Enhance their capacity to recover from challenges.

Improve relationships: Foster stronger bonds and attachment with oneself and others.

 

 Our actions are influenced by our past experiences. If we have encountered ACEs, our future relies on processing negative past experiences, addressing current maladaptive behaviors, and progressing towards making the right changes and decisions for a more positive future. Counseling clients with ACEs is a journey that enhances self-awareness and promotes change in maladaptive patterns learned in childhood; it can be challenging and painful. I recognize that each client brings their own unique set of circumstances and behaviors, so my relationship with my clients is founded on trust and empathy in a safe, non-judgmental environment, while listening and providing support every step of the way…... 




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